Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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