Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
