Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
