yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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