I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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