You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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