She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
