did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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