From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I want to be your penis for a week.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
