I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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