I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
