I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
