i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
