It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
