I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
