is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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