Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
