Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
