quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
