You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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