Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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