I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
