it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
