What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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