Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
