i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
