apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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