She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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