spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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