just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
