It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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