only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
