I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
