I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
