i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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