I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
