When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
