Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
