He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
