that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
