You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
