"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
