Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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