how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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