Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
