ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
