Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
