they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
