i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
