I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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